The annual Nativity Play in an Infants school. You might have thought that the hardest thing that needs to be done is to choose which little girl will look best in the pale blue dress to play Mary – but that’s only the beginning of the trouble!
One year it was all going calmly enough, the donkey had remembered to sit behind Joseph – not on his lap; the innkeeper had at least remembered to shake his head and say “No room” before he waved energetically at his dad; it was then, that the teacher became aware of a gentle but insistent ‘ping ping ping’ noise coming from the back of the stage.
Turns out one of the shepherds realised he was going be sick – and with a lightning presence of mind had turned round and proceeded to pebble-dash the star curtain hanging up to represent the starry sky of Bethlehem with projectile vomit.
He was swiftly removed with the minimum of fuss and the children were told to try and avoid the ominous wet patch at the back. Thankfully the angel Gabriel was one of that breed of sensible girl who calmly realised what was needed and led her troupe of ten little angels in their tinsel halos around the pile of sick and lined them up well out of harm’s way on the other side of the stage.
Alas we hadn’t bargained for the stars who had to do a twinkly dance when they came on – I’m sure you can imagine the scene… lets just say more than one bright shining star trampled through the middle and slipped over in it!